We Live in a Difficult World, a Broken One.

"So many people are broken and they're not getting up....this can't be the body you spoke of. This is our song so sing out loud a chorus for us. This is my worship this is my life, to bring hope to this broken world"

-To all those who are stuggling in life in any way shape or form, especially with Ed or with SI, just know it gets better and there is hope. You have a story, a beautiful story filled in that beautiful body and soul and you deserve to be heard. You'll hear through out life that people understand, that they relate, that they simpathize with you; but you may never believe that. Well I am here to tell you today that no I may not understand exactly what you have gone through, that I may not be able to relate in every way or any way, or that I know exactly what you are feeling....but I do know this: life is hard, really hard at times, and sometimes we lose hope or faith or strength or whatever it may be, we seem to lose something....especially a part of ourselves. I want to tell you what other people do not know how to say, that it may not feel okay, it may feel like the end of the world but chances are it's not if you take a second look through my eyes and see that I love you. Yes, I love you. I may never have met you but I love you because YOU are YOU. You are a person, a human being connected to every other human being in this world. Many think of these connections in different ways but we are connected, a harmonic life, we effect each other in some way or another. You may not have words to speak out, for yourself, for others, for those lost or found but others have words for you. Find them. Let them reach out to you because there is always hope. I may not know exactly but I'm connected to you and I've been through a rough hard life and I know you have too. I may not understand but I can hold your hand to listen, tie down to reality, or to help walk the path of life.

This is my worship, this is my life- to bring hope back into this broken world without love.

You were created to love and be loved.  You were meant to live life in relationship with other people, to know and be known. You need to know that your story is important and that you're part of a bigger story.  You need to know that your life matters.

Begging the Moon

Begging the Moon

I sit here begging she come back to life,
I sit here begging in denial every night.
I sit here and sit here.
I sit here...

I sit here under pale moonlight asking god why?
Why, as I cry to the moon,
a lone wolf begging for a tune.
I am without harmony,
no chorus nor chords,
no lines to speak or sing.
I have nothing to live by.
I sit here crying, wondering why?

Would she hear me if I called her name?
Would she heed my pleading shame,
would she hold me if she only knew my pain?
I sit here and sit here asking god why oh why?
It seems tonight I'll never figure out why
no matter how hard I try.

God take care of her alright?
She left and took my heart tonight,
its gone with no beat or sound.
There's no more drum anymore
no bar lines to guide my life.

There's no more music in me,
I begged you pleased
now I ask you merely take care
of an Angel up there tonight.
She has my heart and soul,
watch them well
as I am left down here to miserably dwell.

My guide is only the light
from the darkest skies
from the reflections that once knew your face.
I look up to the moon
tears dried upon my face.
I think I see you up there
but I don't dare look.
My head hangs low
in my crying shame.

I am a lone wolf wandering the night,
its voice captured but cried under moonlight.
If you listen close you'll hear my pain
as I wander through life's forest
in denial for all eternal nights and days.

Grace

When I try my best but fall to my knees, I ask god please and he sends me angel’s wings, carry me when I find no way, lost and bowed before thee. I plead for grace, place upon my heart and head, a lost soul stumbling trying to find the way. Give me grace, a safe calm place that I may know you now, going on life’s journey with thee and your name further on, may I find thee.  

Come and find me

I have found a perfect end

Despair and nothing penned

Let me go

Taking the time with held breaths

Monsters hiding within me

Bubbling through my heart

Light nowhere to been seen

Dark tunnels all around

Nothing within

Come and find me

Agony keep your grip on me

Burry me ten feet deep

No last words please

Leave me alone

I’m blue, cold bones

Gray heart with no sound

Is there something beyond this world

Something beyond this world

Agony keep your grip on me

Burry me or come and find me

Agony come and find me

Leave me alone

There is no feeling anymore

I feel nothing anymore

Agony come and find me

Tell me, how it should be.

Some days I harbor anger
It's my reality anchor
A world full of misery
Tell me how it should be
Tell me how it should be
Something's getting in the way
I can't get back
Reality is fading away
Back and back I go
Forever on it goes
I just never know
Tell me how this is suppose to go
While I leave this all behind
I go blind from you
Yes, because of you
The only way out
I can't see behind the clouds
of dark purple blood above
Tears cried into bottoms of bottles
I've elected hell
Lying to myself
Don't want another chance at life
You, tell me
Tell me how it should be
How it should be.