Past Life

I remember the days when we had blacks blues and grays,
I remember the days when summer storms went and came,
I remember the years long past and ones new as gold
I remember spring smiles and warm breezes told
I remember young and old,
I remember leaves falling yellow,
Saying their last goodbye to every fellow
I remember
I remember...

Would you wait for me and you
Would you wait for the ocean to turn purple instead of blue
Would you wait to learn of god or be confused
Would you wait to know who you really are through and through?
Would you wait to be handed a silver platter, shiny but distorted reflections scattered.
Would you wait
Would you wait....

Do you remember
Do you remember
Could you wait
Could you wait

That is the question
Unanswered.

Begging the Moon

Begging the Moon

I sit here begging she come back to life,
I sit here begging in denial every night.
I sit here and sit here.
I sit here...

I sit here under pale moonlight asking god why?
Why, as I cry to the moon,
a lone wolf begging for a tune.
I am without harmony,
no chorus nor chords,
no lines to speak or sing.
I have nothing to live by.
I sit here crying, wondering why?

Would she hear me if I called her name?
Would she heed my pleading shame,
would she hold me if she only knew my pain?
I sit here and sit here asking god why oh why?
It seems tonight I'll never figure out why
no matter how hard I try.

God take care of her alright?
She left and took my heart tonight,
its gone with no beat or sound.
There's no more drum anymore
no bar lines to guide my life.

There's no more music in me,
I begged you pleased
now I ask you merely take care
of an Angel up there tonight.
She has my heart and soul,
watch them well
as I am left down here to miserably dwell.

My guide is only the light
from the darkest skies
from the reflections that once knew your face.
I look up to the moon
tears dried upon my face.
I think I see you up there
but I don't dare look.
My head hangs low
in my crying shame.

I am a lone wolf wandering the night,
its voice captured but cried under moonlight.
If you listen close you'll hear my pain
as I wander through life's forest
in denial for all eternal nights and days.

Fighting Perspectives

Where there is darkness there is light. Life is full of opposition, one day we may find ourselves in darkness and the other in light; however we need the learning experience of both. I know myself that without the darkness I went through in my senior year of high-school that I wouldn’t be as strong or the person I am today. I also learned that those holding me down were holding me in the past, I need to move forward from that darkness; it needed to be my turn in the light. However, in that darkness I learned more of myself and I felt safe in a dark world. I found the music that spoke to me even if some people called it “dark” or “emo”, I was in a dark place anyway. The music joined my world so that I was not alone it gave me words to live. The music also gave me my writing; I learned to write poetry and music and found myself within the music, within myself and my own darkness. When I did not feel at home in the light the darkness within me took me in. I learned so much in the darkness that I outgrew it knowing in the end looking back it killed part of me. However, that part needed to die so that another could come to life. Within myself no matter what side of figurative light or dark I finally learned not to let anything or anyone hold me back from my true desires. This is my life, let the music speak through me, let my words be heard. I will not be made small, this is me, this is who I’m supposed to be so let the light shine on me.

Sweet Darkness - David Whyte

Sweet Darkness

"When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.

Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.

There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.

The dark will be your womb
tonight.

The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.

You must learn one thing:
the world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn

anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive

is too small for you".

- David Whyte seems

Grace

When I try my best but fall to my knees, I ask god please and he sends me angel’s wings, carry me when I find no way, lost and bowed before thee. I plead for grace, place upon my heart and head, a lost soul stumbling trying to find the way. Give me grace, a safe calm place that I may know you now, going on life’s journey with thee and your name further on, may I find thee.